im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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