a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize