put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I could make wine with my vomit
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
