Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my poor anus
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
