She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
