I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
