If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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