Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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