Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
