I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dignity is for republicans.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
