and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
