Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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