Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize