I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
