her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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