You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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