Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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