I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
third nipple confirmed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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