Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
