No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
