I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
