New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think I sprained my soul last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
