Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
