can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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