16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
