I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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