I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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