It's Friday. Sex?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Boobs speak an international language.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
