ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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