cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
