Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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