wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
