Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
