Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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