What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
