I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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