Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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