We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize