Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize