I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
not ubering you a puppy
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
