Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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