he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it glows. i had to have it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you had me at cake vodka
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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