What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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