***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
