What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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