She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
