So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
