I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize