Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
