I'm drive I can fine osifer
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
is wine microwaveable?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
