I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
