Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize