When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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