6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sober January is a disaster.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
