the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize