Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
