She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
