is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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