they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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