pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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