why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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