what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize