If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize