What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
