Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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