the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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