Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
