The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
