why didn't you poke me back
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
