I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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